After years of debating whether to seek an ADHD diagnosis, I finally took the plunge in February 2024. In true ADHD fashion, that was the moment I actually got around to submitting the forms! But in reality, my journey had started months earlier—seeking advice while battling long-standing depression and anxiety. Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if I had been misdiagnosed or mistreated along the way.

When I finally received my official ADHD diagnosis as a 40+ year old—almost a year after starting the process—I expected to feel a whirlwind of emotions. Anxiety, self-doubt, maybe even frustration over all the years spent not knowing. But instead, what I felt was overwhelming relief. Even now, months later, as I write this, I find myself welling up. It was as if a weight I hadn’t even fully recognised had finally been lifted, and for the first time, I felt lighter.

After years of struggling, questioning, and trying to fit into school and work environments that never quite made sense to me, things started to make sense. It wasn’t that I was lazy, unfocused, or incapable—my brain simply worked differently. And now, I had the confirmation I needed to truly understand myself.

The Journey to Diagnosis: Choosing the Right Path

Navigating the process of getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult can feel like an uphill battle, especially within the NHS and when you have spent your life masking, so don't look like you have ADHD! The wait times can be incredibly long, and the thought of being placed on a 4 year plus waiting list was daunting. However, I discovered the ‘Right to Choose’ pathway, which allowed me to receive an assessment much faster while still following NICE guidelines.

Through this route, I was able to access a specialist ADHD service outside of my local NHS trust. The process remained thorough, professional, and evidence-based, but it allowed me to receive answers much sooner than the standard NHS waiting times. If you're considering seeking a diagnosis and are concerned about long delays, I highly recommend looking into the ‘Right to Choose’ pathway.

That said, the experience wasn’t without its challenges. There were times when I had to chase up correspondence, navigate frustrating administrative systems, and ensure forms were correctly processed. When I first registered for ‘Right to Choose’ through my GP surgery, I was given a wait time of 26 weeks. However, as those weeks passed with little progress, the reality stretched to a full year before I completed my assessments and received a diagnosis. The primary reason given for the delay was a surge in referrals.

So, while ‘Right to Choose’ can be a viable and effective pathway to diagnosis, it's important to manage expectations. Delays can still occur, but being proactive—following up on progress and staying informed—can help keep things moving. If you’re willing to advocate for yourself and navigate occasional hurdles, this route can still offer a faster and more accessible way to get the answers and support you need.

The Relief of a Diagnosis: Why It Matters

At first, I didn’t think I needed an official diagnosis. After all, I had managed to function for years without one. My main motivation was to support my son, who was diagnosed with ADHD at seven and was struggling to understand his own journey. I wanted to show him that he wasn’t alone—that we were on the same team. But as I moved through the process, I realised that gaining a deeper understanding of my ADHD wasn’t just for him—it was about empowerment and validation for me, too.

For years, I had internalised my struggles as personal failings. The procrastination, the forgetfulness, the pressure to meet unrealistic expectations, the impulsivity and poor decision-making, the constant need to please everyone but myself. I thought these were flaws, signs that I just wasn’t good enough. But my diagnosis reframed everything. It helped me see that these weren’t character defects but rather symptoms of an ADHD brain that processes the world differently.

This newfound understanding has allowed me to approach myself with kindness and patience. I am learning to be kinder to myself, to stop berating myself for struggling with things that seem effortless for others. Instead, I am learning to work with my brain, rather than against it, embracing strategies that support me rather than forcing myself into a mold that was never meant for me.

A Newfound Sense of Relaxation and Self-Acceptance

One of the most unexpected outcomes of my diagnosis has been a deep sense of relief and relaxation. Without even realising it, I had spent years masking my struggles and constantly battling against my natural tendencies. The tension of trying to "keep up" had become so ingrained that I didn’t recognise the weight of it. Now, I am slowly learning to embrace myself.

I am using tools and strategies that genuinely support me, rather than trying to fit into systems that were never designed for my brain. Instead of constantly feeling like I’m failing at life, I now understand that I simply needed a different approach. For the first time in years, I feel confident that I can do more, not because I’m forcing myself to, but because I finally believe I can. After years of telling myself to play it safe for fear of failing or being unmasked, I’m starting to trust myself and step outside of my comfort zone.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Getting my ADHD diagnosis was not the end of my journey, it’s just the beginning of a new chapter. One where I approach myself with understanding, compassion, and the right support in place. I have started to explore different treatment options, including coaching and workplace support via Access to Work, finding ways to create an environment that works for me rather than against me.

If you are questioning whether you might have ADHD or are considering seeking a diagnosis, know that you are not alone. There is support, understanding, and relief on the other side of the process. And while receiving a diagnosis doesn’t change the past, it provides clarity for the future, a future where you can finally work with your brain, not against it.

For anyone navigating their own ADHD journey, remember: seeking answers isn’t about labels, it’s about self-awareness, empowerment, and finding the tools to help you thrive. Yes, I now have a label, but it’s mine to share on my terms, and it doesn’t define me. You deserve understanding, support, and the chance to live life on your own terms. We all do.